Extenuating Circumstances

Although I haven’t had a “real job” that’s lasted for more than a month or two, I’ve managed to not go without work for more than about a week and a half since I’ve been in LA.  Ironically, that’s pretty metaphorical about another part of my life.  Thanks in part to a temp agency, and also in part to my excellent hustling skills. 

This Friday I was feeling pretty smug about my good luck streak.  A bunch of stuff was going right...I was making money, had properly used the word "accolades" in front of several people, and my stomach had remained flat for three days in a row.  Pretty much, I had tons of baskets, with tons of eggs in each, and I couldn’t help but have a little extra swagger as I walked home in my cardigan and sensible heels. I was feeling so good, I winked at a stranger.  

I’ve noticed that sometimes when I’m feeling really smug, the universe likes to find a way to say “Check yourself.”  Sometimes that takes a few days, but this time the universe had a turn-around time faster than a Chili's table right next to the bathroom.  

So for this post to make sense you must know that a week ago, I moved down the street into a new place with one of my best friends from Boston.  (Don’t ask, I guess I enjoy the thrill of a change of address form.)

I get home and realize that my computer won’t charge, the refrigerator light it out, and my beer is room temperature.  One hour and two warm beers later, I realize our power is out (this is after texting my roommate to see if he noticed all our stuff was broken).  I go to check if anyone else’s power is off too.  I can see through the screen door that my next door neighbor is enjoying a cold beverage in front of the TV so I don’t even need to ask, but I figure this is a good way to welcome myself to the neighborhood, so I ask him if he has power anyway.  He said yes, and answers my puzzled face with a question.  “Did you ever change your name on the account when the other guys moved out?”

Umm.  Nope.  

So I’m on the phone with the power company and they tell me that I can’t get power until Monday.  Monday. MY FROZEN MEALS WILL THAW BY THEN.  I am immediately in bitch mode, telling the lady from the power company that I’ll take my business elsewhere.  Little did I know that there is no elsewhere.
Fun Fact: In LA, and most places, the power company is the power company, and you can’t really shop around.

I realize quickly (by quickly, I mean 20 minutes of hold music waiting for the supervisor later) that crazy bitch isn’t the best approach so I hang up and call back with a new angle.  This time I decide that I’m gonna be super sad, and the new lady is gonna feel bad for me.  I work up some tears (fueled by the devastating notion that I couldn't have the house warming party I was throwing myself that night anymore) and tell her that I have extenuating circumstances and need a crew out here ASAP.  I hadn't really figured out what those circumstances were yet.  I was having a hard time deciding whether to say I lived with my grandma, and she needed to plug in her defibrillator, or that I have several child size kidneys in my fridge that were gonna turn.  Side note: a defibrillator is not what I thought it was… I think I meant respirator.  Luckily, I wore the lady down to the point, that she didn't even ask.

They finally gave in and told me they would send out an emergency crew, but they might not come until Sunday, so I should invest in some flashlights.

Determined to go on with the party, power or no power, I assembled my emergency kit.  I called a friend to make sure his speakers used batteries, and bought all the battery powered lights I could find at Bed Bath and Beyond.  Just ask all the guests had arrived, and candles were lit, and I was almost getting people excited about the "black out party," the electricians came and turned on the power.  

To tell you the truth, the lights kind of killed the mood.  I'll call and complain on Monday.